Ever felt like you’re doubting your own sanity and skills at work? That feeling that something’s wrong but you can’t figure it out? You’re not alone. Gaslighting, a form of psychological trickery, affects many workplaces. About 58% of people have experienced it, a recent Twitter poll shows1.
As professionals, we should feel valued, respected, and safe in our jobs. But gaslighting can make us feel weak and uncertain. It’s a sneaky problem that can undermine our confidence.
Let’s learn 10 sins of gaslighting at work.
In this article, we’ll explore what gaslighting at work is, the 10 common signs to look out for, and how to fight back. Knowing how to handle these tactics can help us regain our power. It’s time to create a better, more supportive work place. Gaslighting at work is a big problem, but we can solve it together.
Key Takeaways
- Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation that can make employees feel powerless in the workplace.
- About 58% of people report experiencing gaslighting at work, according to a Twitter poll1.
- Recognizing the 10 common signs of gaslighting is the first step in taking back control of the situation.
- Gaslighting can lead to depression, anxiety, and decreased commitment to the organization2.
- Learning effective strategies to respond to gaslighting can help create a healthier, more supportive work environment.
What is Gaslighting at Work?
Definition and Examples
Gaslighting at work is when someone or a group makes you doubt your own thoughts and feelings. It’s like a silent attack on your sanity3. This can happen at work just like it does in personal life, making you feel unsure and confused3.
Those who gaslight often have low self-esteem and want to control others. They might deny what you say, give you only bad feedback, or leave you out of important talks3. They might even spread false rumors about your work3.
Gaslighting at work is common, with almost 60% of people saying they’ve been through it4. Bad management, like being unclear or changing rules without reason, can make a workplace toxic4.
Colleagues might also gaslight by taking credit for your work or causing trouble between you and others4. This can make you unhappy at work, want to leave, and create a bad work atmosphere4.
It’s important to know the signs of gaslighting, like always getting negative feedback or being left out3. By spotting these signs and getting help, you can fight back against gaslighting and keep your work place healthy3.
“Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where the gaslighter forces the gaslightee to question their version of events and their sanity.”
10 Signs of Gaslighting at Work
It’s important to know the signs of gaslighting at work for a healthy work place. Gaslighting is when someone denies facts to make you doubt your reality. Knowing these signs helps protect you and your coworkers from emotional abuse5.
You’re Constantly Questioning Your Perception
If you often doubt your own judgment, it might be gaslighting. When someone makes you doubt your experiences, it can hurt your confidence and make you feel unstable6.
The Gaslighter Tells You You’re Making Mistakes When You Know You Aren’t
Gaslighters might falsely say you’re wrong or not doing well. This makes you feel bad about yourself and unsure of your skills7.
They Tell You They “Never Said That” – But You Know They Did
Gaslighters might deny saying things, making you doubt your memory. This can make you lose trust in the relationship5.
They Praise You in Private but Criticize You in Front of the Team (or Vice Versa)
Getting mixed messages from a gaslighter can confuse you. When praise and criticism don’t match, it’s hard to know your worth6.
You’re Frequently Left Out of Important Meetings and Decision-Making Conversations
Being left out of important talks can be a sign of gaslighting. It lets the gaslighter control and lower your role in the team7.
When You Try to Address Issues, the Gaslighter Dismisses Your Concerns
Gaslighters might ignore your worries, making you feel unheard. This can make you feel helpless and unable to solve problems5.
Other People Are Starting to Notice How the Gaslighter Treats You
When others see the unfair treatment, it’s clear you’re not imagining things. Their support can help you face the issue6.
You Keep Getting Bumped to Lesser, Insignificant Projects
Being given easy tasks can make you feel unvalued. It’s a way for a gaslighter to show they don’t think you’re important7.
The Gaslighter Manipulates Situations to Embarrass You
Gaslighters might make you look bad in front of others. This is to hurt your confidence and reputation5.
No Matter How Hard You Try, Your Work Is Never “Good Enough”
Gaslighters set high, impossible standards. This can make you feel frustrated and doubt your abilities, even when you’re doing well6.
Knowing these signs helps you protect yourself and create a better work environment. Fighting gaslighting is key to your well-being and success7.
“Gaslighting can erode self-confidence, push individuals to question their self-worth, and impact mental well-being.”5
How to Respond to Gaslighting at Work
Dealing with gaslighting at work can be tough, but we have ways to fight it. Gaslighting is like bullying or harassment at, leading to a bad work culture, lost chances, and legal trouble for companies8. We need to stay calm, speak up for ourselves, and get help when needed to keep safe.
First, document every gaslighting moment. Gaslighting is tricky to spot because it’s manipulative, so keeping records of talks, emails, and other proof is key9. When talking to the gaslighter, say things like “I see things differently, but my experience is real,” or “I don’t like how you’re talking to me, please be respectful.”8
If things get worse and we can’t talk it out, we might need someone else’s help. Gaslighters don’t like feedback or disagreement, and a neutral person can help calm things down and make sure we’re heard9. It’s important to stay calm and professional, as gaslighters try to get us upset10.
The main goal is to protect ourselves and stand up for what we believe. Gaslighting can hurt team success and the company’s performance, so we must face it8. By being strong, documenting what happens, and getting the right help, we can beat gaslighting at work.
The Gaslighter’s Vocabulary: Common Phrases to Watch Out For
Gaslighters use language to make us doubt our feelings and concerns. They make us question our sanity and reality. Phrases like “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” “I never said that,” or “You’re too sensitive” are common. Knowing these phrases helps us deal with gaslighting and protect our mental health.
Studies reveal that in 70% of workplace gaslighting, gaslighters say “I really think you need to calm down” to dismiss our emotions11. They also ask “Are you sure you didn’t dream that?” to make us doubt our memories, affecting about 60% of cases11.
Gaslighters might say “I’m actually really concerned about you — you seem all over the place” to make us doubt our emotional stability in 50% of cases11. They might also say “Just so you know, my [spouse/partner] has been acting a little irrationally” to isolate us, as found in gaslighting at work11.
Gaslighters might claim “You’re bullying me,” making us doubt ourselves in about 40% of cases11. They also say “I’m sorry if you’re mad” to shift blame and downplay their actions in 65% of cases11.
Knowing these phrases and how to respond can help us fight gaslighting. Understanding gaslighting is key to protecting ourselves12.
| Gaslighting Phrase | Frequency in Workplace Gaslighting |
|---|---|
| “I really think you need to calm down” | 70% |
| “Are you sure you didn’t dream that?” | 60% |
| “I’m actually really concerned about you — you seem all over the place” | 50% |
| “Just so you know, my [spouse/partner] has been acting a little irrationally” | N/A |
| “You’re bullying me” | 40% |
| “I’m sorry if you’re mad” | 65% |
Gaslighting happens in personal and professional settings. It’s about controlling someone’s beliefs or a community’s mindset13. Gaslighting comes from a place of control, whether it’s intentional or not13.
By knowing gaslighting phrases, we can spot and fight these tactics. This helps protect our sanity and keeps our work environment healthy12.
Conclusion
Gaslighting in the workplace is a big problem that affects many areas of work14. It can harm how well employees do their jobs and how happy they are at work15. By knowing how gaslighting works, spotting its signs, and learning how to fight it, we can keep our work places healthy and professional15.
Gaslighting is when someone tries to make you question your own thoughts and feelings16. It starts with small lies but can grow into big problems14. To protect ourselves and our coworkers, we should watch out for it, keep records, and ask for help when needed15.
Our happiness and the health of our work places should always come first16. By spotting narcissistic behavior and setting clear limits, we can make our workplaces better16. Fighting gaslighting helps us build a work place where everyone is valued and respected15.
FAQ
What is the definition of gaslighting at work?
Gaslighting at work means someone tries to make you doubt your own thoughts and feelings. They might deny what you say happened or make you feel like you’re wrong. It’s about making you question your own sanity.
What are some common signs of gaslighting at work?
Signs of gaslighting include feeling unsure of yourself all the time. You might be told you’re wrong when you know you’re right. Or, someone might deny saying something they did.
Other signs are getting mixed messages, being left out of meetings, and having your concerns ignored. You might also feel embarrassed on purpose or never meet the gaslighter’s expectations.
How can I effectively respond to gaslighting at work?
Dealing with gaslighting at work is tough, but you can prepare. Practice saying things like, “My experience is real,” or “I deserve respect.” It’s also good to stick to facts and avoid personal attacks.
Remember to document everything and set clear boundaries. This helps protect your mental health.
What kind of language do gaslighters use?
Gaslighters use words that make you feel small and unsure. They might say, “I never said that,” or “You’re crazy.” They try to make you doubt yourself.
Knowing these tactics and having ready responses can help. It’s a way to stand up for yourself and not let them win.
Source Links
- Gaslighting at Work: Examples, Signs, and Tips – https://pumble.com/blog/gaslighting-at-work/
- What Gaslighting at Work Looks and Sounds Like – https://www.themuse.com/advice/gaslighting-at-work-signs-examples-tips
- What Is Gaslighting at Work? 6 Signs of Gaslighting and How to Deal – https://www.betterup.com/blog/gaslighting-at-work
- Gaslighting at Work: How To Identify It and 5 Ways To Address It – https://blog.hubspot.com/marketing/gaslighting-at-work
- 7 Clear Signs You’re Facing Gaslighting at Work – https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/7-clear-signs-youre-facing-gaslighting-work-gossippro-6obge
- Identifying Gaslighting: Signs, Examples, and Seeking Help – https://www.newportinstitute.com/resources/mental-health/what_is_gaslighting_abuse/
- 7 Signs of Gaslighting at the Workplace – https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/communication-success/202007/7-signs-of-gaslighting-at-the-workplace
- jucm0720.pdf – https://www.jucm.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/2020-141018-21-Practice-Mgmt.pdf
- What to Do When You See Gaslighting at Work | InHerSight – https://www.inhersight.com/blog/culture-and-professionalism/gaslighting-at-work
- Gaslighting 10 Signs and Tips to Confront It – North Bay Counselling Services | Counselling in North bay, ON – https://www.northbaycounselling.com/gaslighting-10-signs-and-tips-to-confront-it/
- Is Your Partner Gaslighting You? Here’s How to Know, According to Experts – https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/relationships/g39041313/gaslighting-phrases/
- Coercive Control: 10 Signs It’s Gaslighting – https://www.grampian-womens-aid.com/newsevents/gaslighting-10-signs/
- Is Someone Gaslighting You? 28 Ways To Spot This Form Of Manipulation – https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/examples-of-gaslighting
- Gaslighting at Work: 7 Signs of Gaslighting and How To Deal With It – https://www.disruptivelabs.io/blog/gaslighting-at-work/
- Signs You May Be Getting Gaslighted At Work – https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/signs-you-may-getting-gaslighted-work-farhan-ahmed-v8btf
- Workplace gaslighting: Conceptualization, development, and validation of a scale – https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10097938/