Do Narcissists Know They Are Narcissists?

Fahim chughtai
29 Min Read

As I sit here, I’ve always wondered if narcissists know they have narcissistic traits. It’s a complex topic that many don’t fully understand. I’m excited to dive deeper into it1.

Recently, I looked into a study from Washington University in St. Louis. They found that people with high narcissism scores think they’re smarter, more attractive, and funnier than others1. These narcissists also knew they could be bossy, impulsive, arrogant, and exaggerate their skills1.

This shows that narcissists are somewhat self-aware about their big egos and lack of empathy. They know the image they’ve built and how it changes when people get to know them better1. Let’s discuss do narcissists know they are narcissists?

Key Takeaways

  • Narcissists think they’re smarter, more attractive, likable, and funnier than others.
  • They know they can be bossy, impulsive, and arrogant.
  • They see how their good first impressions fade as people get to know them.
  • They might change their ways if it helps them get status or power.
  • Talking about the downsides of narcissism might make them think about changing.

What Is Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a mental health issue marked by an overblown sense of self-importance and a strong need for admiration. People with this disorder often see themselves as superior and expect special treatment2. They also have trouble understanding and caring for others, leading to using and manipulating those close to them2.

Defining Narcissistic Traits

At the heart of NPD are traits like a big sense of self-importance, a lack of empathy, and feeling entitled2. These traits can show in different ways. Some narcissists may not realize how they hurt others, while others know exactly how they manipulate people2.

Grandiose Sense of Self-Importance

People with NPD often think very highly of themselves, their achievements, and their talents3. They might exaggerate their successes and look down on others they see as less important3.

Lack of Empathy and Entitlement

NPD is also known for its lack of empathy2. Those with it have trouble understanding or caring about others’ feelings and needs. This leads to feeling entitled and using others for their own gain2. This lack of empathy makes it hard for them to have healthy relationships3.

“Narcissists may have fleeting moments of self-awareness but often dismiss these to maintain their inflated self-image.”2

It’s important to understand narcissistic personality disorder to deal with people who show these traits2. Some narcissists know they have these traits, but admitting it takes a lot of self-awareness, which many can’t achieve2.

Do Narcissists Have Self-Awareness?

Research shows that narcissists are quite self-aware about their personality and how others see them4. They often think highly of themselves but also know they can be arrogant and exaggerate4.

Narcissists are pretty accurate about how others see them, even if they don’t see themselves that way4. They know they’re seen as narcissistic, even if they don’t think so themselves4.

Positive Self-Perceptions vs. Meta-Perceptions

Narcissists might think highly of themselves, but they’re not clueless about how others see them5. About 70-75% of those with strong narcissistic traits don’t really know themselves well and need others to boost their self-esteem5.

They often blame others for their own flaws, which happens to about 80% of narcissistic people5.

More than 60% of narcissists like to take credit for others’ work5.

“Narcissists’ introspection is emotionless, serving the purpose of optimizing performance, maximizing sources of narcissistic supply, and manipulating the environment. This introspection is viewed as a maintenance chore rather than a catalyst for change and lacks the capacity to inhibit exploitative behaviors.”4

Narcissists know a lot about themselves but don’t use that knowledge to get better4. They use their insight to trick others and get what they want4.

narcissists self-awareness

Understanding narcissistic self-awareness is complex. Knowing how narcissists see themselves and others helps us deal with them better. It also helps us know how to help them.

do narcissist know they are narcissist

Many people debate whether narcissists know they have narcissistic traits. Some narcissists are very aware of their high self-esteem and feel they deserve special treatment6. Others might not see their narcissistic traits or think others just don’t get them6.

Research shows that narcissists sometimes realize their flaws but quickly forget about it to keep their high self-image6. They often see themselves differently from how others see them, which is a key sign of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)6.

Narcissists know they act narcissistically but think it’s okay because they don’t care much for others7. People with NPD know they’re being mean to control others7. But, they’re not likely to change unless it hurts them personally7.

narcissist self-awareness

Narcissistic traits, like manipulating others and lacking empathy, come from deep insecurities7. They put their own needs first, treating others badly to feel superior and avoid shame7.

Even knowing they’re wrong, narcissists often choose their own interests over others’ happiness7. This shows how complex narcissism is and how hard it is to fix.

Signs of Self-Awareness in Narcissists

Narcissists often find it hard to see themselves clearly. Yet, they show signs they know a lot about themselves, even if it’s not always true8. They know how they want to be seen and work hard to keep up this image8. They act differently in public and private, showing they control how people see them.

Strategic Manipulation and Selective Behavior

Narcissists use tricks like gaslighting and emotional blackmail to control people8. This shows they know how to affect others, even if they don’t really care about them8. They also change how they act depending on where they are, proving they can manage their image on purpose.

Lack of Empathy and Blame-Shifting

Narcissists don’t feel for others and often blame others for their problems8. This shows they know what they’re doing, even if they make excuses for it. They know how their actions affect people, but they don’t take full blame for it.

Even though narcissists have trouble seeing themselves clearly, their actions show they understand how they impact others9. But this awareness doesn’t always make them want to change or seek help. They often prefer to keep up their perfect image over really changing and growing9.

narcissist self-awareness

Narcissists’ strategic manipulation and selective behavior suggest an awareness of the impact they can have on others, even if they lack genuine empathy.

The Spectrum of Narcissistic Self-Awareness

Narcissism spans a wide spectrum. The awareness narcissists have about their traits varies a lot10. Some narcissists know they are narcissistic and use it to get ahead. They understand their manipulative ways and the harm they cause, but they see it as needed for success11.

Others may sometimes realize their narcissistic traits but quickly forget about it. This is because they can’t accept anything that might lower their self-image10. At the other end, some narcissists don’t even see their narcissistic traits. They think their actions are right or don’t understand them10. These people often struggle with self-awareness and tend to live in a world that’s not quite real, making deep connections hard10.

It’s important to understand the spectrum of narcissistic self-awareness to deal with narcissists better. Knowing how self-aware they are helps in setting boundaries and figuring out how to react to them11.

spectrum of narcissistic self-awareness

“Narcissists may know they have hurt someone but may avoid taking responsibility as it can lead to overwhelming shame.”11

Would a Narcissist Admit to Being One?

People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) find it hard to admit their flaws12. They know they think too highly of themselves and don’t feel for others, but saying so would hurt their self-image13.

Narcissists are often honest about their traits, even proud of them12. But they won’t say they’re narcissists. That would mean being vulnerable and humble, which goes against what they believe14.

Studies show narcissists think highly of themselves and need admiration13. Yet, they won’t admit these traits. Saying they’re flawed would hurt their grand image they’ve built12.

Some research suggests narcissists might see being narcissistic as a strength12. This shows how complex their self-view is. They want to keep a positive image more than they want to admit their flaws.

Narcissists don’t want to admit their flaws because they value their high self-esteem and fear the stigma of the disorder13. They might know themselves well, but saying they’re narcissists is rare. It requires being open and reflective, which is hard for them14.

Admitting Flaws vs. Maintaining Self-Image

For narcissists, admitting their flaws is hard13. They think too highly of themselves and can’t see their flaws clearly. They’ll often blame others instead, making it unlikely they’ll admit their narcissism12.

The social stigma around Narcissistic Personality Disorder makes narcissists even more hesitant to admit their condition14. Saying they’re narcissists would mean being vulnerable and reflective, which goes against their self-image13.

“Not everyone realizes how destructive a narcissist is until they are free from their grip, indicating a delayed awareness of the harm caused by a narcissist.”

In conclusion, narcissists rarely admit to being narcissists. It would hurt their self-image and the image they’ve worked hard to keep12. Understanding this is key for those dealing with narcissists, as it helps in managing relationships and setting boundaries13.

Narcissists’ Ability to Recognize Other Narcissists

Narcissists with high self-awareness can spot similar traits in others15. They notice patterns of manipulation, lack of empathy, or grandiosity in others like them15. But, this doesn’t always mean they disapprove or acknowledge it. Often, they’re drawn to each other, seeing themselves in others16.

On the flip side, recognizing narcissists can lead to conflict. Each one tries to prove they’re the best16. This competition brings jealousy and drama, causing emotional harm and a lack of emotional connection16.

How a narcissist reacts to another narcissist depends on their self-awareness and view of their own traits. Recognizing narcissists in others is complex and affects their relationships deeply.

narcissist identifying narcissistic traits

“Narcissists may even be drawn to one another, finding commonality in their shared behaviors and attitudes.”

The Role of Self-Awareness in Narcissistic Behavior

Narcissists have a big impact on how they act and interact with others. Those who know their traits well often use tactics like gaslighting to control people17. They also know how to act differently in public and private, showing they’re aware of how they’re seen17.

Impacts on Relationships and Manipulation

On the other hand, some narcissists don’t see how their actions hurt their relationships. They keep doing things that put their own needs first17. This can make them feel bad about themselves when they learn about narcissistic behavior17. This can lead to anger and actions that hurt their relationships even more17.

The level of self-awareness in narcissists greatly affects their actions and relationships. It’s key to understand this to deal with narcissistic people and fix the problems17.

narcissistic behavior

“Narcissists who are fully aware of their traits are more likely to employ strategic manipulation, using tactics like gaslighting and emotional blackmail to control and influence those around them.”

Practical Implications and Intervention Strategies

Research on narcissists shows they know their traits and how others see them18. This challenges the idea that they don’t understand themselves. So, just making them more aware might not work.

A better way might be to show them how their actions affect others and themselves18. By showing the harm their narcissism causes, they might want to change. They often act this way to get status and power18.

Talking to a therapist, like through CBT or DBT, can help narcissists see their flaws and improve their relationships18. But, getting them to therapy is hard because they don’t usually want to go18.

Changing a narcissist can be tough. They might even lose friends if those friends don’t admire them enough18.

Therapy is great for those who have been hurt by narcissists. It helps them heal, feel better about themselves, and learn to set limits19. Doing things like talking positively to oneself, taking care of oneself, and finding support can also help19.

In short, we should focus on how their actions hurt others and why changing is good, not just making them aware1819. Using therapy, self-care, and setting boundaries can help deal with narcissistic behavior1819.,

Narcissistic Traits in Everyday Life

Narcissistic traits can show up in our daily lives, affecting both personal and work relationships. People with narcissistic behaviors often feel very important and always want praise from others20. They also tend to not care much about others, focusing more on their own wants and needs21.

One key sign of narcissistic behavior is feeling they deserve special treatment just because they think they’re better21. They might use tricks like gaslighting or emotional blackmail to control others’ views21.

Narcissists always need people to admire them and praise their achievements and uniqueness21. They can be very arrogant and rude, especially if they don’t get the respect they think they deserve21.

Knowing how to spot narcissistic behavior can help us deal with these tough situations in our lives. By seeing the signs of grandiosity, lack of empathy, and manipulation, we can protect ourselves and our relationships from narcissism’s harm21.

Some narcissists might work on changing their ways with help, but many don’t want to because it hurts their ego21. So, dealing with people who show narcissistic traits can be hard and requires a deep understanding of their actions21.

Personal Experiences and Reflections

Dealing with narcissists in relationships can be both fascinating and complex. I’ve met narcissistic people in my life, which made me think deeply about their self-awareness. Narcissistic personality, as defined by DSM V, is all about being obsessed with oneself and looks, or public22. They crave admiration and act grand, but they don’t really care about others22.

Narcissists can be very self-aware, but they often use this awareness to control others. Narcissists tend to engage in more legal issues and conflicts23. They try to make those close to them, like family or work friends, feel like part of them22.

But, some narcissists don’t even realize how they act. They blame others for their own problems23. These people usually don’t go to therapy unless forced or with someone else23. They use tricks to control and hurt those around them, causing a lot of emotional pain22.

Thinking about these experiences has made me see how complex narcissistic personality disorder is. Getting over narcissistic abuse means facing your own issues22. Dealing with narcissists teaches us to know ourselves better, set clear limits, and look after our own health.

“The blog hints at the launch of an outpatient group named ‘Shattering the Mirror—Support and Recovery for Adult Children of Narcissists’ in the fall.”

22

The Complexities of Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is more than just being narcissistic24. It’s a complex mental health issue with many traits and behaviors25. Understanding its depth is key to helping those affected by narcissists, directly or indirectly.

Self-awareness is a big part of NPD’s complexity. Some narcissists don’t know themselves well, while others plan their actions carefully24. This mix makes it hard to grasp and deal with narcissistic traits.

Childhood experiences, trauma, and genetics play a big role in narcissism25. These factors make the disorder hard to understand. Also, narcissists often find it hard to keep relationships healthy and fulfilling.

Dealing with NPD in treatment is tough too. Narcissists might not want to admit they need help or accept it when offered25. Therapy can be hard because they don’t like to change and try to control the therapy.

Understanding Narcissistic Personality Disorder fully shows us we need a detailed approach. By looking at self-awareness, causes, relationships, and treatment issues, we can help those affected. This leads to better relationships for everyone.

“Understanding the complexities of Narcissistic Personality Disorder is crucial for providing effective support and interventions for those affected by this disorder.”

Dealing with narcissists in relationships is tough, no matter how aware they are of themselves. It’s key to set clear limits and take care of yourself when dealing with them26.

Setting Boundaries and Self-Care

Setting strong emotional and physical boundaries can shield you from narcissists’ manipulative actions27. Also, taking care of yourself by getting support from friends and experts can help you handle the emotional stress of being with a narcissist27. It’s vital to look out for yourself, as narcissists can really affect your well-being27.

Being in a relationship with a narcissist often means you feel trapped in a cycle of needing them but then being pushed away. This cycle can drain your emotions26. To cope, set boundaries, keep to your values, deal with the toxic behavior, and build a support network. Also, consider counseling and understand that changing a narcissist is unlikely26.

Putting your well-being first is crucial when facing a narcissist. By setting clear boundaries and focusing on self-care, you can start to feel more in control and free in these tough situations27.

“Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously.” – Prentis Hemphill

Conclusion

Whether narcissists know they are narcissists is a deep topic. Some narcissists clearly understand their traits and how they change in different situations28. Others struggle to see their narcissistic sides because their actions are hidden and they use tricks like blaming others or gaslighting29.

Knowing about narcissistic personality disorder is key to helping those affected by narcissistic behavior30. By spotting signs like thinking too highly of oneself, not caring about others, and having trouble controlling emotions, people can deal with these tough relationships better30.

Understanding narcissists shows how complex this issue is and why we need a detailed approach to handle it. Taking care of oneself, setting clear limits, and getting help when needed are important steps. These actions help people deal with narcissistic people and aim for better, happier relationships292830.

FAQ

Do narcissists know they are narcissists?

Yes, narcissists are aware of their traits and how others see them. They think they are smarter, more attractive, and funnier than others. They also know they can be demanding, impulsive, and arrogant.

What is Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

It’s a mental health issue marked by an overblown sense of self-importance and a constant need for praise. People with this disorder believe they are better than others and deserve special treatment.

What are the common narcissistic traits?

These traits include thinking highly of oneself, needing lots of praise, and not caring much for others. They often see themselves as superior and expect special treatment.

How aware are narcissists of their narcissistic behaviors?

Awareness varies among narcissists. Some know their traits well, while others might not see their flaws. Many have brief moments of awareness but quickly forget to keep their ego intact.

What are the signs that suggest narcissists are aware of their behaviors?

Signs include using manipulation tactics like gaslighting and emotional blackmail. They act differently in public and private, showing they can control their image. Their lack of empathy and blaming others also shows they know what they’re doing.

Do narcissists exist on a spectrum of self-awareness?

Yes, narcissism comes in different levels of awareness. Some narcissists know and use their traits, while others don’t see their flaws. There are also those who sometimes realize their narcissistic tendencies but ignore them.

Would a narcissist admit to being one?

They usually don’t admit it, as it would hurt their self-image. Accepting flaws is hard for narcissists because it means seeing their imperfections.

Can narcissists recognize other narcissists?

Some narcissists with high self-awareness can spot similar traits in others. But this doesn’t always lead to disliking them. They might even be drawn to others like themselves, finding common ground in their behaviors.

How does a narcissist’s self-awareness impact their behavior and relationships?

Aware narcissists use tactics like gaslighting to control people. They act differently in public and private, showing they know how to be seen. Less aware narcissists might not see how their actions hurt their relationships.

What are the practical implications of understanding narcissists’ self-awareness?

Traditional self-awareness methods might not work well for narcissists. A better approach could be to show them how their actions affect their relationships and well-being.

How can narcissistic traits manifest in everyday life?

These traits show up in daily life, affecting personal and work relationships. People with narcissistic tendencies often seek constant praise and don’t care much for others’ feelings.

How can personal experiences with narcissists provide insights into their self-awareness?

People who’ve dealt with narcissists can share their experiences. These stories help us understand how narcissists see themselves and how that affects their relationships.

What are the complexities involved in understanding and addressing narcissistic personality disorder?

This disorder is complex, with many traits and behaviors. Knowing how narcissists see themselves is key to helping those affected by their actions.

How can individuals navigate relationships with narcissists?

Dealing with narcissists is tough, no matter their self-awareness. It’s important to set clear boundaries and take care of yourself. Setting emotional and physical boundaries can protect you from their manipulative ways. Taking care of yourself also helps you handle the emotional impact of being with a narcissist.

  1. Do Narcissists Know They Are Narcissists? – https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/beautiful-minds/201103/do-narcissists-know-they-are-narcissists
  2. Do Narcissists Know They Are Narcissists? – https://grace-being.com/love-relationships/do-narcissists-know-they-are-narcissists/
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  5. 5 Ways Narcissists Project and Attack You – https://psychcentral.com/blog/psychology-self/2017/09/narcissistic-projection
  6. Does a Narcissist Know He’s a Narcissist? (15 Expert Advice) – https://upjourney.com/does-a-narcissist-know-he-is-a-narcissist
  7. The Disarming Truth About Whether True Narcissists Know They Are Narcissists – https://www.yourtango.com/self/do-narcissists-know-they-are-narcissists
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  9. The Self-Aware Narcissist, Part 1 – https://medium.com/@stephenherron/the-self-aware-narcissist-628e8360a732
  10. Narcissistic Tendencies: The Narcissist’s Astonishing Lack Of Self-Awareness – Surviving Narcissism – https://survivingnarcissism.tv/narcissistic-tendencies-the-narcissists-astonishing-lack-of-self-awareness/
  11. Are Narcissists Aware of Their Behavior? – https://medium.com/the-conscious-way/are-narcissists-aware-of-their-behavior-a58e8025409
  12. If Someone Tells You They’re a Narcissist, Believe Them – Priceonomics – https://priceonomics.com/if-someone-tells-you-theyre-a-narcissist-believe/
  13. What to Do When the Narcissist Knows You Have Figured Him Out? – https://www.marriage.com/advice/mental-health/when-the-narcissist-knows-you-have-figured-him-out/
  14. Can a narcissist change? Impact of therapy, love, or age – https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/can-a-narcissist-change
  15. How to Recognize a Covert Narcissist – https://www.verywellmind.com/understanding-the-covert-narcissist-4584587
  16. Do Narcissists Like Other Narcissists – Unravel The Paradox – https://happyproject.in/do-narcissists-like-other-narcissists/
  17. How Narcissists React to Information About Narcissism – https://psychcentral.com/blog/psychology-self/2018/11/narcissists-information-narcissism
  18. Understanding Narcissism and Narcissistic Supply: A Deep Dive into Narcissistic Behavior, NYC – https://www.integrative-psych.org/resources/understanding-narcissism-and-narcissistic-supply-a-deep-dive-into-narcissistic-behavior
  19. How to Deal with a Narcissist: 10 Tools and Strategies to Help – https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-deal-with-a-narcissist
  20. Sounds like a Narcissist: Behavioral Manifestations of Narcissism in Everyday Life – https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2918908/
  21. Narcissism: Symptoms and Signs – https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/narcissism-symptoms-signs
  22. Reflections: Images of a Narcissist – https://www.turningleaftherapyservices.com/blog/reflections-images-of-a-narcissist
  23. Are They Really a Narcissist? – https://www.hopehealreflect.com/blog/are-they-really-a-narcissist
  24. The dark side of empathy in narcissistic personality disorder – https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10097942/
  25. Types of Narcissism: Understanding Personality Traits – https://abilityplusmentalhealthllc.com/types-of-narcissism/
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  27. Navigating narcissism: Mindset lessons to navigate difficult relationships – https://successoulliving.com/how-to-navigate-the-narcissist-mindset-lessons-to-empower-you-in-any-difficult-relationship/
  28. You Probably Think this Paper’s About You: Narcissists’ Perceptions of their Personality and Reputation – https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3119754/
  29. Understanding Self-Awareness: Does a Narcissist Know They’re a Narcissist? – https://narcissisticmind.com/does-a-narcissist-know-they-are-a-narcissist/
  30. Anatomy of a Narcissist – https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-narcissist-in-your-life/202212/anatomy-of-a-narcissist

Author

  • Fahim chughtai

    Fahim Chughtai is a leading expert in narcissism and a seasoned psychologist specializing in narcissistic abuse. He is the author of the highly popular newsletter, Narcissist Hunter, where he guides individuals on their healing journey from narcissistic abuse. With over a decade of experience, Fahim is dedicated to helping people understand and recover from the damaging effects of narcissism.

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