Can You Help a Narcissist Change? Effective Tips

Fahim chughtai
13 Min Read

Dealing with someone who has narcissistic traits can deeply affect your emotional health. Understanding and tackling narcissistic behavior is tough but important for those wanting to improve their relationships. This article will share tips on how to help a narcissist change. It will guide you through the complex world of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and give advice on how to encourage positive change while looking after yourself.

Key Takeaways

  • Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) covers a spectrum of traits, making each case unique1.
  • Proper diagnosis by a trained professional is crucial for accurate treatment1.
  • Environmental factors, such as trauma or lack of correction, can contribute to narcissistic traits1.
  • Some narcissists may never change, but change is possible if the person seeks help1.
  • Maintaining clear boundaries is key for functional relationships with narcissists1.

Understanding Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a mental health issue marked by an overblown sense of self-importance and a lack of empathy2. Those with NPD may show off, feel entitled, and try to control others for their own power and attention2.

What Is Narcissism?

Narcissism comes in different levels, and people can show various narcissistic traits2. Some may have a big ego (grandiose narcissism), while others may seem more sensitive and insecure (vulnerable narcissism)2. Both types often find it hard to understand others, manage their feelings, and keep healthy relationships.

Can a Narcissist Change and Get Better?

Yes, narcissists can change and get better with a lot of self-awareness, effort, and professional help. Studies show that narcissistic traits can lessen with age3, and people can learn to be more empathetic if they want to3. But, changing is hard, especially for those with NPD, as they find it hard to accept criticism and be less self-focused3.

Therapies like schema therapy, Gestalt therapy, and group therapy can help tackle the roots of narcissism and teach better ways to cope3. With the right support and a real wish to change, narcissists can aim for more rewarding and genuine relationships3.

“Narcissists often respond well to praise and encouragement in therapy, as it helps to foster their motivation and progress.”

How to Help a Narcissist Change

Hold Them Accountable for Their Actions

Dealing with someone who has narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is tough4. It’s hard to treat NPD because people with it often don’t see they have it4. Still, it’s key to hold them responsible for what they do. If they act disrespectfully or cross your lines, tell them there will be consequences5. It’s important for those with NPD to realize their mistakes and own up to them5.

By making them accountable, you push them to change and start fixing their ways5. Changing can take time5, but keep working to help them feel empathy and understand themselves better5. Studies show that therapy like cognitive behavioral therapy and dialectical behavioral therapy can help with NPD5.

holding narcissists accountable

Narcissism comes in different levels, and not all show signs of full narcissistic personality disorder (NPD)5. Yet, the idea of making them take responsibility and think about themselves can help anyone with narcissistic traits to change5.

how to help a narcissist change

Setting clear boundaries is key to helping someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) change1. These boundaries matter in all relationships, like with parents, spouses, friends, or coworkers1. It’s important to be clear and direct when setting these limits1.

To help a narcissist change, create distance when they act badly and get closer when they act well1. This method can lead to better behavior over time, as they don’t like direct fights1.

Remember, no one, including those with narcissistic traits, should harm or make you uncomfortable1. Keeping healthy boundaries is good for you and might push the narcissist to change.

Establishing Boundaries with Narcissists

  1. Clearly tell others what you expect and what’s okay or not okay.
  2. Always stick to the rules you’ve set, with consequences if they’re broken.
  3. Don’t argue or try to reason with them when they get defensive or upset.
  4. Take care of yourself, even if it means stepping back from the narcissist.

Setting and keeping healthy boundaries is crucial for helping a narcissist change1. By being strategic and caring, you can help them grow and change, while keeping yourself safe1.

establishing boundaries with narcissists

“The most important thing is to establish clear boundaries and stick to them, no matter how much the narcissist tries to push back or manipulate you.”

Dealing with people who have narcissistic traits needs patience, understanding, and sticking to your own rules1. By using these tips, you can encourage a narcissist to change for the better, while also looking after your feelings1.

For more advice on dealing with narcissists, check out these resources: How to Help a Narcissist and Caring for an Aging Narcissistic Man16.

Boundary Setting StrategiesBenefits
Clear communication of expectationsEstablishes a shared understanding of acceptable behavior
Consistent enforcement of boundariesReinforces the importance of respecting boundaries
Avoiding confrontation when boundaries are crossedPrevents escalation and further damage to the relationship
Prioritizing self-care and well-beingEnsures the caregiver’s needs are met, enabling more effective support

Supporting a Narcissist in Therapy

Helping a narcissist seek and engage in therapy is a big step towards self-awareness and growth7. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is hard to treat, with therapy and medicine often not helping much7. People with NPD have a deep issue with their self-image and behavior, showing as a high self-esteem, lack of empathy, and a focus on what others think7.

When a narcissist starts therapy, it’s a big step forward, no matter why they started7. Mental health experts recognize different types of narcissism, each needing its own approach7. Treatments like schema therapy and mentalization-based therapy can help, but it’s a tough process7.

Supporting a narcissist in therapy means being encouraging and understanding, seeing their progress, and knowing what a real apology looks like7. Healing the inner child, making a recovery plan, and building a strong therapist relationship can help them change for the better7.

Therapy ApproachDescription
Schema TherapyFocuses on identifying and modifying core beliefs and maladaptive coping mechanisms developed in childhood.
Mentalization-Based TherapyHelps individuals with NPD develop their capacity for mentalization, or the ability to understand their own and others’ mental states.
Transference-Focused PsychotherapyAddresses the intense emotional reactions and distorted perceptions that arise in the therapist-client relationship.
Group TherapyProvides a supportive environment for individuals with NPD to practice interpersonal skills and receive feedback from peers.

Diagnosing narcissistic personality disorder is based on symptoms, life impact, physical exams, and psychological evaluations8. Treatment usually involves talk therapy and might include medicine for other mental health issues8.

Most people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder enter therapy for symptom relief or to please others, and therapy can take 5-10 years to show progress9. High-functioning narcissists tend to do better in therapy than those who are lower-functioning9. Many narcissists don’t stay in therapy because it makes them uncomfortable with self-reflection9.

Therapy for Narcissists

Studies suggest that NPD may lessen with age, with some people improving over 2 years7. But remember, love alone won’t change a narcissist, and they might not go to therapy to save a relationship7. If you’re supporting a narcissist, getting therapy for yourself is key. Set clear boundaries, understand their struggles, and encourage them to tell you how you can help7.

Conclusion

Helping a narcissist change can be tough but possible with the right steps and support. Understanding narcissistic personality disorder helps a lot. Setting clear rules, making the person take responsibility, and helping them see a therapist can lead to positive changes10.

It’s key that the person with NPD wants to change for real. With patience, understanding, and taking care of yourself, you can help them find a better life10.

Dealing with narcissistic behavior is hard, but there are ways to help. Important steps include setting clear rules, keeping your feelings in check, and taking care of yourself1112. Creating a space where the narcissist is held accountable and gets professional help can help them see and change their ways10.

FAQ

What is narcissistic personality disorder?

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a pattern of self-centeredness and grandiosity. People with NPD often feel deeply insecure and lack empathy. This pattern affects many areas of their life, causing distress and impairment.

Can a narcissist change and get better?

Yes, narcissists can change, but it’s a tough process. They need to work hard to overcome traits like arrogance and self-centeredness. These traits make them resistant to change.

How can I hold a narcissist accountable for their actions?

It’s important to stand up for yourself if a narcissist crosses your boundaries. If they disrespect you, tell them there will be consequences. This might encourage them to behave better.

How do I establish clear boundaries with a narcissist?

To set boundaries with someone with NPD, be clear and firm. Different relationships have different limits. Always communicate your boundaries directly and assertively.

How can I support a narcissist in seeking therapy?

Supporting a loved one with NPD in therapy is a big step. Effective therapies like schema therapy and mentalization-based therapy can help. But, the journey is tough.

  1. 3 Ways to Help a Narcissist – wikiHow – https://www.wikihow.com/Help-a-Narcissist
  2. “How to Help a Narcissist” Ask a Therapist — Talkspace – https://www.talkspace.com/mental-health/conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/how-to-help/
  3. Can a Narcissist Change? What to Expect – https://www.healthline.com/health/can-a-narcissist-change
  4. Can a narcissist change? Impact of therapy, love, or age – https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/can-a-narcissist-change
  5. Can a Narcissist Change? – https://psychcentral.com/health/can-a-narcissist-change
  6. 7 Steps to Changing Your Narcissistic Responses – https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/understanding-narcissism/201802/7-steps-changing-your-narcissistic-responses
  7. Will A Narcissist Ever Change? How Therapy Can Help Narcissists – https://www.lifebulb.com/blogs/can-a-narcissist-change-with-therapy-sessions
  8. Narcissistic personality disorder – Diagnosis and treatment – Mayo Clinic – https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/diagnosis-treatment/drc-20366690
  9. 10 Stages in the Treatment of Narcissistic Disorders – https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/understanding-narcissism/201908/10-stages-in-the-treatment-narcissistic-disorders
  10. Can A Narcissist Change? Answer These 9 Questions To Find Out! – https://marriagerecoverycenter.com/narcissist-change-answer-these-9/
  11. How To Win With A Narcissist: 5 Secrets Backed By Research – Barking Up The Wrong Tree – https://bakadesuyo.com/2017/10/how-to-win-with-a-narcissist/
  12. Dealing with Narcissistic Behaviour: Strategies and Tips – https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/dealing-narcissistic-behaviour-strategies-tips-john-barwell-ootte

Author

  • Fahim chughtai

    Fahim Chughtai is a leading expert in narcissism and a seasoned psychologist specializing in narcissistic abuse. He is the author of the highly popular newsletter, Narcissist Hunter, where he guides individuals on their healing journey from narcissistic abuse. With over a decade of experience, Fahim is dedicated to helping people understand and recover from the damaging effects of narcissism.

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