We all have those moments of reflection and go, “Man, am I really this self-absorbed?” or “Do I lean on others too much for validation?” It’s totally normal to reflect on your behavior and relationships, but sometimes going a little deeper helps. That’s why I pulled this quiz together to help you figure out whether you tilt more toward narcissism or codependency. Let’s take the Am I Narcissistic or Codependent Quiz.
First off, before we dive in, let’s clarify what we’re talking about here.
Narcissism vs. Codependency: What’s the Difference?
Many people misunderstand narcissism as simply being really self-centered, but it’s more complicated than this. Typically, a narcissist has an exaggerated sense of self-importance, a deep need for admiration, and little empathy for others. They may view themselves as superior and often have a fragile ego that needs constant reinforcement.
On the other hand, codependency is concentration on others to such a degree that it is at the expense of one’s own needs. A codependent person gets his or her self-esteem from being needed by someone else and generally has problems setting boundaries. They may maintain relationships wherein they are overly dependent upon others for approval and self-worth. Scroll down to take Am I Narcissistic or Codependent quiz.
The Quiz: Am I Narcissistic or Codependent Quiz
Ready to see where you stand? Take out a pen and paper, or just take a mental note of your answer. For each question, circle the one that most closely describes you.
1. What typically is your action when someone criticizes or provides you with feedback?
a) Become defensive and may feel attacked.
b) Take it personally; it’s really bad about yourself.
c) I appreciate the feedback and try to learn from it.
2. In a relationship, you feel happiest when.
a) I’m being admired and praised by my partner.
b) I’m taking care of my partner’s needs and making them happy.
c) We’re both supporting and appreciating each other equally.
3. How do you usually resolve a conflict with someone?
a) Most of the time, I try to win the argument to prove that I am right.
b) I avoid conflict and often apologize first to maintain peace.
c) I would rather see myself from the standpoint of the other person and iron things out calmly.
4. In decision-making, you most often.
a) Do what you think is best. You are not particularly concerned with the opinions of others.
b) Concern yourself with the effects of your decision on others and might yield to their wish.
c) Consider what you need and what others need, then decide.
5. Which of the following is the most important drive to you?
a) To be successful and to be acknowledged as successful
b) To be loved and needed by others
c) Life’s balance and healthy relationships
6. How do you feel about being alone?
a) I would rather be with other people where somebody will understand and appreciate me.
b) I get lonely and anxious if I am not with people.
c) I enjoy my own company and use that time to recharge.
7. If someone close to you is upset, you.
a) Might not even recognize it, or you might get irritated if they’re not paying attention to you.
b) Take responsibility for their feelings and will do anything to make them feel better.
c) Show support, but you recognize their feelings are their own responsibility.
8. Your ideal mate is someone who.
a) Admires and respects you more than anyone else.
b) Needs you, depends on you to feel complete.
c) They Are independent and equal but have interests and needs of their own.
How to Score Your Am I Narcissistic or Codependent Quiz
Now that you’ve got your answers let’s see where you land. Here’s how to score yourself:
Mostly As: You might be on the side of being narcissistic. That does not mean that you are a full-blown narcissist, but maybe it will answer how your focus on yourself could be impacting your relationships.
Mostly Bs: You might be on the side of being codependent. Again, this isn’t a diagnosis, but it does show that you are working on setting up some boundaries and identifying your needs.
Mostly C’s: You seem to have a pretty healthy balance. You can consider yourself and others in relationships, so that is a good place to be.
Understand Your Results Am I Narcissistic or Codependent Quiz
If you find yourself with more A’s or B’s, don’t worry. We all have a mix of traits, and the key is being aware of those. Let’s break it down further:
If You Scored Mostly A’s: Signs of Narcissism
- High self-focus: You may want to be the center of attention all the time or have a strong need for recognition.
- Difficulty with empathy: You may not be able to understand others’ feelings or might get irritated if you are not in the limelight.
- Problem in relationships: You may not be able to sustain deep meaningful relationships due to a tendency where you only think about your needs.
What to Do: Practice empathy. Make an effort to really listen and understand where other people are coming from. Reflect on your actions and their impact on those around you.
If You Scored Mostly B’s in Am I Narcissistic or Codependent Quiz: You May Be Codependent
- Tendencies of people-pleasers: Very often, at the expense of your own needs, you may be sacrificing for others, even to the point of damage to yourself.
- Boundary problems: You may feel an inability to say “no” when you really want to, even if it bothers others.
- Over-dependence on validation: Your self-esteem can be very closely linked to the degree to which others need or appreciate you.
What to Do: You could start setting small boundaries and practice saying no. Be ok with taking care of yourself first. Build up your self-esteem by recognizing your own worth outside of others’ approval.
Finding Balance: How to Improve Your Relationships
Whether you tend more toward narcissism or codependency, or somewhere in between, the goal is finding a healthy middle ground. Here are some tips on how to find that balance:
Be More Self-Aware: Step back often and reflect on your actions. Are you being considerate of others’ needs, or are you caring too much?
Establish Boundaries: Whether you tend to be a narcissist or codependent, you must set boundaries. Learn to say ‘no’ and respect others’ boundaries just as you would expect them to respect yours.
Empathy: Try seeing things from another person’s point of view. It’s among the greatest abilities when building strong, good relationships.
Work on Self-Esteem: Develop self-esteem by not depending on others for approval or praise.
Final Thoughts: Love Growth
This is only the beginning of understanding whether one has a tendency to be narcissistic or codependent. Growth is the next step. We’re all a work in progress, and being honest with the person in the mirror will definitely help to work toward relationships that are healthier and happier.
Remember, this Am I Narcissistic or Codependent Quiz is only a means of reflection. If you find these tendencies are having a big effect either on your life or your relationships, it might be helpful to speak with a therapist or counselor. They can offer personalized guidance and support moving through these dynamics.
