Understanding the 7 Stages of Narcissism

We often meet people who think too much of themselves and don’t care about others. They might have Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Knowing the 7 stages of narcissism helps us spot and deal with their abuse and control.

Being in a relationship with a narcissist is like riding a wild rollercoaster. It starts with “love bombing,” where they shower you with love. But soon, they start to criticize and control you. The discard phase is especially hard, leaving you feeling lost and worthless. The “hoovering” phase, where they try to get you back, is very tricky.

Key Takeaways

• Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a complex condition that can only be diagnosed by a psychiatrist and affects a small portion of the population¹.
• People with NPD often don’t think they have a problem and are hard to help, with little chance of change without professional help¹.
• Narcissistic abuse can cause serious harm, including mental health issues in victims if they’re exposed for a long time².
• Spotting the signs of narcissistic abuse, like the idealization-devaluation-discard cycle, can help you escape these bad relationships².
• Understanding the 7 stages of narcissism is key to understanding abusive relationships and starting to heal¹.

What is Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

Defining Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a mental health issue. It makes people think they are more important than they really are. They also need lots of praise and don’t care about others’ feelings³.

This disorder falls under cluster B personality disorders in the DSM-5. These disorders are known for dramatic, emotional, and unpredictable behavior³. Having some narcissistic traits is common, but NPD is more serious. It affects how someone sees themselves, their relationships, and their daily life.

Studies say up to 5% of people might have NPD³. Research also links narcissistic traits to violent crimes. Over 21% of inmates in one prison were diagnosed with NPD³. NPD can be caused by childhood trauma, genetics, and the environment³.

It’s important to understand Narcissistic Personality Disorder well. It can show up in different ways and deeply affect people and their relationships. Knowing what NPD is can help us deal with its challenges better.

Narcissistic Traits vs. Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Everyone shows some narcissistic traits now and then. But, there’s a big difference between having these traits and having Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)⁴. NPD is a pattern of behavior that affects all parts of life. On the other hand, someone with narcissistic traits might only show these traits in specific situations⁴.

It’s also possible to have narcissistic traits without having NPD⁴.

The main difference is how much these traits affect someone’s life and how aware they are of their actions⁴. Someone with narcissistic traits might want admiration, but it doesn’t ruin their life or relationships⁴. In contrast, NPD makes it hard to have good relationships and live a normal life⁴. People with NPD also struggle with understanding themselves and others⁴.

Narcissistic Traits	Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Occasional belief in being special or superior	Constant, pervasive sense of grandiosity and entitlement
Traits come and go, do not significantly impact life or relationships	Severely impairs ability to have healthy relationships and function in daily life
May exhibit some narcissistic behaviors, but does not meet full criteria for NPD	Meets criteria for a formal diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Generally higher self-awareness and empathy	Tend to lack self-awareness and empathy

The DSM-5 TR shows how far someone is from what’s normal⁴. Healthy narcissism is good for skills like empathy and creativity⁴.

The Stages of Narcissistic Abuse

Navigating the complex dynamics of narcissistic abuse is a challenging journey for many. This pattern often follows a predictable path that can confuse and harm the victim⁵.

The Honeymoon Phase

The “honeymoon phase” is the first stage of narcissistic abuse. The narcissist showers the victim with love, attention, and validation. This is called “love bombing,” aimed at fulfilling the narcissist’s needs and drawing the victim in⁵.

During this phase, the narcissist mirrors the victim’s behaviors and interests. This creates a false sense of connection and understanding⁵.

The Fading Phase

As the relationship goes on, the narcissist’s attention and affection fade. The victim becomes clingy and desperate to get back the earlier affection. This “fading phase” is marked by emotional neglect, blame-shifting, and a drop in the victim’s self-esteem⁵.

The emotional roller coaster can be very traumatizing. It leaves the victim feeling confused, isolated, and trapped⁶.

Understanding the stages of narcissistic abuse is key to recognizing patterns. It helps in seeking the right support and resources for healing. Getting professional help and connecting with survivor communities is invaluable in this journey⁶.

7 Stages of Narcissism

Being in a relationship with a narcissist is very tough. It’s filled with emotional abuse and manipulation. Narcissistic abuse can last for a long time, keeping victims trapped in a cycle of anger and peace⁷. It’s hard to see the abuse, making it hard for victims to leave⁷.

1. The Honeymoon Phase: At first, the narcissist seems perfect, showering the victim with love and false intimacy. Narcissists may love-bomb with gifts, compliments, and promises of forever⁸. This makes victims feel swept away by the charm⁷.
2. The Fading Phase: As time goes on, the narcissist’s interest fades, causing emotional distance⁷. This is stage 2, when they think you’re hooked⁸.
3. The Emotional Phase: Victims feel more emotions like anger and loneliness as the narcissist pulls away⁷.
4. The Anger and Fighting Phase: Talking to the narcissist leads to more fights and the silent treatment⁷.
5. The Self-Blame Phase: Victims start to blame themselves for the relationship’s problems, trying to fix it⁷.
6. The Discard Phase: The relationship may end, with some narcissists keeping victims for their own pleasure. Others may discard them when bored⁷. After a breakup, narcissists might try to win you back⁸.
7. The Rage and Peace Phase: Being with a narcissist can lead to a cycle of anger and peace. It’s a trap of abuse and manipulation⁷. Dealing with a narcissist can cause PTSD and long-lasting feelings of anxiety, shame, and depression⁸.

Knowing these stages is key for those facing narcissistic abuse. It helps them spot the patterns and seek help for their mental health⁷. Some narcissists fear commitment and may end a relationship suddenly, even after saying they’ll marry⁸.

“Narcissistic behavior can stem from genetic factors or severe childhood trauma, leading to repeated cycles of abuse in adult relationships.”⁷

By understanding narcissism’s stages, people can better handle these complex relationships. They can start healing and moving forward⁹. Getting help from therapists or counselors who know about narcissistic abuse is a good step towards recovery⁹.

Types of Narcissism

Narcissism comes in different forms, not just the obvious kind. There’s also covert narcissism¹⁰. Covert narcissists seem humble but crave attention and praise. They might act out in subtle ways¹⁰. All narcissists focus too much on themselves, don’t care about others, and can’t handle criticism.

Overt Narcissism

Overt narcissists are the most common type. They are aggressive, outgoing, and always seek attention¹⁰. They think they’re better than everyone else and often put others down¹¹.

Covert Narcissism

Covert narcissists are shy and introverted. They use subtle ways to manipulate others¹⁰. They might struggle with anxiety or depression more than others¹⁰.

There are more types of narcissism beyond overt and covert. These include:

• Exhibitionist narcissists who show off their superiority and need constant praise¹¹.
• Highly-sensitive narcissists who are very aware of others’ feelings but in a harmful way¹¹.
• Sexual narcissists who focus too much on their own desires in relationships, ignoring their partner’s needs¹¹.
• Victim narcissists who pretend to be submissive but avoid taking responsibility¹¹.
• Malignant narcissists who are very cruel and lack empathy, sometimes showing signs of antisocial personality disorder¹¹.

Malignant narcissists enjoy hurting others and see things in very black-and-white terms¹¹. It’s important to set boundaries with them to protect yourself¹⁰.

“Narcissists believe they are superior to others, entitled to special treatment, and deserving of higher status and privilege.” – Dr. Ramani Durvasula

Knowing about the different types of narcissism helps us deal with them better. The Narcissism Exposed newsletter offers great advice and resources for handling these situations¹⁰¹¹³.

Other Types of Narcissism

There are more than just the well-known types of narcissism. Mental health experts have found several other kinds. Knowing about these different types helps us understand narcissism better.

Antagonistic narcissism is all about being competitive and arrogant. People with this type love to show off their status and power. They want to be seen as better than others³.

Research shows that some narcissistic traits can actually help people succeed. For example, feeling like you’re in charge can help in your career or school³.

Communal narcissism looks like being very selfless and caring. But really, these people want praise and recognition for helping others³. They act like leaders or heroes to get attention³.

Malignant narcissism is the worst kind. It mixes narcissism with being very aggressive and not caring about others³. People with this type can be very mean and aggressive¹².

There’s also adaptive narcissism and maladaptive narcissism. Adaptive narcissism can be good in some ways. But maladaptive narcissism really hurts a person’s life and relationships³.

Knowing about all these types of narcissism helps us see how complex it is. It lets us understand and deal with narcissism in our lives better.

The many types of narcissism show we need a deep understanding of it¹¹¹²³.

The Cycle of Narcissistic Abuse

Narcissistic abuse follows a predictable cycle, trapping victims in a loop of love bombing, devaluation, and discard¹³. The abuser first showers the victim with love and attention, known as “love bombing.” Then, they suddenly stop, leaving the victim feeling confused and desperate¹³.

This cycle includes rage, peace, gaslighting, and the silent treatment, making it hard for victims to escape¹³. The abuser’s black-and-white thinking quickly changes from idealization to devaluation. This pattern is known as the cycle of abuse, as described by Lenore Walker (1979)¹³¹⁴.

Covert and female narcissists often use this cycle to control their victims¹⁴. Vulnerable narcissists may focus on emotional abuse, creating a push-and-pull dynamic that makes victims feel helpless¹⁴.

The abuser may use emotional abuse, control, and isolation to maintain power¹³. The discard phase, where the relationship ends abruptly, escalates the abuse. The abuser may also smear the victim’s reputation to “win”¹³.

The cycle repeats, with the abuser trying to lure the victim back through reconciliation or “hoovering”¹³. This is followed by a calm phase, before the cycle starts again¹³¹⁴.

It’s important for victims to understand this cycle to seek help and break free¹⁵. Resources like the National Domestic Violence Hotline and the Psychology Today Therapy Directory can offer support and guidance¹⁴.

Causes and Risk Factors of Narcissistic Personality Disorder

The exact causes of narcissistic personality disorder are still a mystery. But, it’s believed that a mix of factors like childhood trauma, genetics, and environment play a role¹⁶¹⁷. Abuse, neglect, or overly demanding parents might shape narcissistic traits later on¹⁷. Also, genetics might be involved since narcissism often appears in families¹⁶.

Narcissistic personality disorder isn’t as common as once thought. Yet, it affects between 0.5% and 5% of adults in the U.S., with men more likely to have it¹⁶. Earlier, it was believed to affect up to 6.2% of Americans. Now, it’s seen as less common than other disorders like borderline or antisocial personality disorders¹⁶.

Causes and Risk Factors of Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Childhood trauma, abuse, or neglect Overly indulgent or demanding parenting style Genetic factors and family history of narcissism Environmental and societal influences

The causes and risk factors of narcissistic personality disorder are complex. Genetics and biology are big players¹⁶. But, early life experiences and the environment also matter a lot¹⁷. Knowing these factors helps in treating and managing the disorder.

“Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a mental health condition where individuals believe they are superior to others, affecting around 1 to 6 people out of 100.”¹⁷

The DSM-5 doesn’t recognize different types of narcissistic personality disorder. But, symptoms can vary a lot among people¹⁶. There are ideas about different subtypes, like grandiose or vulnerable narcissism¹⁶.

Conclusion

Understanding narcissism and narcissistic abuse can be tough. It’s key to spot the patterns and stages of this harmful behavior. By knowing the warning signs and cycles, we can protect ourselves. We can also seek support and work towards recovery¹⁸.

Healing from narcissistic abuse is not simple, but it’s doable. We can regain our freedom and form better relationships. By seeking help from loved ones and local groups, we can face the hurdles. We can find the support needed to escape the toxic cycle¹⁸.

Knowing the stages of narcissism helps us make better choices in our relationships. It also helps us focus on our own well-being¹⁸. With determination and a focus on personal growth, we can beat the trauma of narcissistic abuse. We can then look forward to a brighter, more rewarding life¹⁹.

FAQ

What are the 7 stages of narcissism?

The 7 stages of narcissism start with “love bombing,” where the narcissist showers the victim with love. Then, the victim trusts and depends on the narcissist more. Next, the narcissist starts criticizing and gaslighting the victim.

After that, the narcissist tries to control the victim. The victim then feels a loss of self and becomes addicted to the narcissist.

What is narcissistic personality disorder (NPD)?

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a mental health issue. It makes people think too highly of themselves and need lots of praise. It affects their relationships and daily life.

NPD is part of the cluster B personality disorders in the DSM-5.

What are the key differences between narcissistic traits and narcissistic personality disorder (NPD)?

Narcissistic traits and NPD differ in how much they affect a person’s life. Traits might show up sometimes but don’t really hurt relationships. NPD, however, is always there and hurts relationships and daily life a lot.

People with NPD also don’t understand themselves or others well.

What are the stages of narcissistic abuse?

Narcissistic abuse has a pattern of phases. First, the narcissist loves and praises the victim to meet their needs. Then, they become distant, making the victim clingy and desperate.

What are the 7 stages of narcissism?

The 7 stages of narcissism start with the “honeymoon phase” and “fading phase.” The narcissist then becomes angry and fights, followed by self-blame. Finally, there’s the “end game,” where the narcissist either ends the relationship or keeps the victim trapped.

Throughout, the narcissist uses tactics like gaslighting and silent treatment to control the victim.

What are the different types of narcissism?

There are different types of narcissism. The “classic” type is obvious, needing lots of praise. Covert narcissists seem humble but still crave attention.

All narcissists focus too much on themselves, don’t care about others, and can’t handle criticism.

What are the other types of narcissism?

Besides overt and covert narcissism, there are other types. These include antagonistic, communal, and malignant narcissism. Experts also talk about adaptive and maladaptive narcissism.

Adaptive narcissism might be helpful, but maladaptive narcissism really hurts relationships and daily life.

What is the cycle of narcissistic abuse?

Narcissistic abuse traps victims in a cycle of love, devaluation, and discard. The narcissist loves and then ignores the victim, leaving them confused and desperate.

This cycle, with gaslighting and silent treatment, makes it hard for victims to escape.

What are the causes and risk factors of narcissistic personality disorder?

The causes of NPD are not fully known. But, it’s thought that childhood trauma, genetics, and upbringing play a role. Abuse, neglect, or overindulgent parenting might contribute to narcissistic traits.

There might also be a genetic link, as narcissism can run in families.

Source Links

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13. Stages of a Narcissistic Relationship: The Cycle of Abuse – https://www.simplypsychology.org/stages-of-a-narcissistic-relationship.html
14. The Narcissistic Cycle of Abuse – https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/love-in-the-age-narcissism/202203/the-narcissistic-cycle-abuse
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19. What Is The Cycle Of A Narcissist Divorce? — Judge Anthony – https://www.judgeanthony.com/blog/what-is-the-cycle-of-a-narcissist-divorce