7 Things Narcissists Do When You Go No Contact

Ending things with a narcissist is tough. Cutting ties is especially hard. One powerful step is the “no contact” rule. This means cutting off all communication and focusing on your well-being. The newsletter offers great advice on this journey. Learn what 7 things narcissists do when you go no contact.

But, when a narcissist feels you’re leaving, they might try to pull you back. They use tricks to control and keep you interested. Knowing these tactics helps us stay strong and focused. Let’s look at the 7 main ways narcissists react when you go no contact.

Key Takeaways

• Narcissists may try harder to get your attention and control when you set the no contact rule¹.
• They might use guilt to make you feel bad or say you’re wrong when you stick to no contact¹.
• Narcissists could get angry and send scary messages or attack you verbally when you enforce no contact¹.
• They might try to win you back with guilt or by being overly nice after you’ve gone no contact¹.
• If they can’t control you anymore, they’ll look for someone else to feed their emotional needs¹.

Understanding the No Contact Rule

Going “no contact” means cutting off all communication with someone after a breakup or divorce². This includes avoiding meetups, calls, messages, emails, social media, and stalking. The no contact rule helps end toxic relationships by removing the narcissist’s control².

What Does It Mean to Go “No Contact” With Someone?

The no contact rule means not facing the narcissist, blocking phone numbers and social media, and changing passwords². It’s key to protect yourself from their manipulative tactics and regain control³.

The Challenges of Going No Contact with a Narcissist

Going no contact with a narcissist is hard because they feel superior and entitled³. They might use threats, lies, or guilt to get you back³. Narcissists could react by idealizing you again, making you feel guilty, or ignoring you².

Psychological issues like trauma bonding and fear of abandonment can arise². It’s important to stick to the no contact rule forever, not just for revenge². You need resilience, self-awareness, and support to overcome their tactics and heal³.

“The no contact rule is an effective strategy for ending toxic relationships as it takes away the narcissist’s opportunity to control and manipulate you.”

Key Challenges of Going No Contact with a Narcissist	Strategies to Maintain No Contact
Narcissist’s inflated sense of superiority and entitlement Narcissist’s use of threats, lies, and pleadings to lure you back Psychological issues like trauma bonding, fear of abandonment, and lack of self-confidence	Develop self-awareness and resilience Reinforce and maintain clear boundaries Focus on self-care and personal growth Seek support from trusted friends and professionals Recognize and resist the narcissist’s manipulation patterns Stay firm against any hoovering attempts

Going no contact and healing from narcissistic abuse is a big step towards reclaiming your life³. With the right strategies and support, you can break free and start a journey of self-discovery³².

7 things narcissists do when you go no contact

Going no contact with a narcissist can be tough. They might try to control you again and keep you involved¹.

Survivors often feel powerless and hopeless. This is because of the abuse they suffered⁴. Narcissists get jealous and insecure when you focus on yourself, seeing it as a rejection⁴.

1. Intensified Attempts to Regain Control: Narcissists fear losing control and their power over you⁴. They try harder to keep you in their grasp.
2. Playing the Victim to Gain Sympathy: They pretend to be victims to get your pity and make you come back⁵.
3. Spreading Misinformation and Lies: Narcissists distort facts to discredit you and regain control⁵.
4. Manipulative Guilt-Tripping: They use guilt to make you feel responsible for their feelings and want you back⁵.
5. Displaying Anger and Aggression: When they lose control, narcissists get angry and belittle you⁵.
6. Attempting to Reengage Through Hoovering: They try to win you back to avoid being ignored⁵. They might end the relationship to get revenge⁵.
7. Moving On to New Sources of Supply: Narcissists find new people to satisfy their needs and attention⁵.

Dealing with a narcissist after no contact needs strong will and support¹. Knowing their tactics helps survivors prepare and protect themselves¹.

Healing from a narcissist is hard, but possible with the right help¹. You can overcome the emotional pain and take back your life¹.

Intensified Attempts to Regain Control

When a narcissist finds out you’re serious about going no contact, they try harder to keep control⁶. They might send lots of messages, call you nonstop, and even show up at your home or work⁶. Their main goal is to get your attention and approval back, as they feel left out without you⁶.

Love Bombing and Aggressive Threats

Narcissists try to win you back by being overly nice and then suddenly threatening⁶. They start by being charming and caring, then turn aggressive and try to cut you off from friends and family⁶. Their mood swings come from their own insecurity and need for constant validation⁷.

It’s crucial to stay strong and not give in to their tactics⁷. Knowing how narcissists act helps us deal with them better and focus on our own safety⁷.

Playing the Victim to Gain Sympathy

When we cut off a narcissist’s supply, they might play the victim to get our sympathy and attention⁸. They dislike being ignored and may act out to get noticed⁸. They pretend to be mistreated to make us feel sorry for them and obligated⁸.

Narcissists often react badly to being ignored, even violently⁸. They see it as a game to get our attention back⁸.

Narcissists use emotional abuse like guilt-tripping and playing the victim to keep us in contact¹. They spread lies to make themselves seem like victims and get sympathy⁸. They tell sad stories to get us to feel sorry for them⁸.

This trickery makes us doubt our own sanity and what’s real⁹. We might wonder if we’re the narcissist⁹. But, we must focus on our safety and peace, not false claims⁹.

Knowing how they manipulate is key to escaping their abuse and taking back our lives⁸¹. By being alert and setting clear boundaries, we can stop them from controlling us¹.

Spreading Misinformation and Lies

Narcissists often distort facts and spread confusion as a form of emotional abuse. Breakups may involve spreading false information about an ex, making it feel like a¹⁰. They might make up reasons for the breakup instead of being honest. This is often to control who stays in touch and avoid blame¹⁰.

Distorting Facts and Creating Confusion

The narcissist aims to undermine your credibility and make you uncertain. They might tell lies, spread rumors, or involve others in your relationship. Narcissists may become very active socially to get more attention after being rejected or when there’s “no contact”¹¹.

This behavior is often to control the story, keep their image intact, and avoid blame. “Narcissists’ 7 Reactions to No Contact: What to Expect” shows how they try to control the narrative and avoid truth¹⁰.

Feeling frustrated and angry because they can’t control how others see them is common for narcissists¹⁰. Trying to manage their reputation to counter lies might not change people’s minds¹⁰. The best response to their deceitful behavior is to move on and live well¹⁰.

“Due to rampant misinformation on cluster b disorders, the conflation of NPD and BPD is one of the most misunderstood things in this context.”¹²

Narcissists may show cognitive dissonance when rejected and might get more aggressive. They might even involve friends, family, or neighbors against the person they rejected¹¹. Social media is key for narcissists, who crave “likes” and positive comments¹¹.

It’s important to understand how narcissists spread misinformation and distort facts after a breakup. By staying true to yourself and focusing on healing, you can overcome the confusion and take back control of your story¹⁰¹¹¹².,,

Manipulative Guilt-Tripping

When you decide to go no contact with a narcissist, they might use guilt-tripping¹³. Narcissists often use guilt to control others¹³. They might say they’re suffering or blame you to make you feel guilty¹³.

Narcissists use emotional blackmail to make you feel guilty or scared¹³. They might say you’re leaving them or that your decision will hurt them a lot.¹⁴ Knowing how they use your weaknesses against you helps you fight back¹³.

It’s important to set boundaries against emotional blackmail and guilt¹³. Healthy relationships are based on respect and love, not control¹³. Taking care of your mental health is key to resist their control¹³.

Being strong means standing up to manipulation and not letting guilt control you¹³. By setting clear boundaries, you can escape their toxic influence and take back your freedom. Learn more about narcissists’ reactions to no contact.

“Narcissists often use excessive guilt-tripping as a tool to control and center relationships around themselves. Prioritizing mental health and well-being is crucial to combat manipulation and regain autonomy.”

Displaying Anger and Aggression

When you decide to go ‘no contact’ with a narcissist, their ego might get hurt. Narcissistic rage is intense anger when their self-image is threatened¹⁵. People with NPD often show aggression because they don’t get the admiration they want¹⁵.

Threats, Verbal Attacks, and Belittling

The narcissist’s anger might show up as threats, verbal attacks, and public criticism¹⁵. These actions aim to scare and make you want to please them again¹⁵. Their rage can lead to relationship problems or financial issues¹⁵.

Things like early trauma, a sensitive nature, and fear of being exposed can cause narcissistic rage¹⁵. Unlike normal anger, it bursts out when their superiority is challenged¹⁵.

These tactics, like threats, verbal attacks, and belittling, are how they try to control you again¹⁶. It’s important to know these behaviors to protect yourself¹⁶.

“Narcissistic rage is a state of intense anger, aggression, and shame that results from a narcissist’s core perceived ‘imperfection’ being threatened, challenged, or exposed.”

Dealing with narcissistic rage can be tough, often needing mental health help¹⁵. Knowing why and how they act can help us deal with their anger better¹⁵¹⁶.

Attempting to Reengage Through Hoovering

When you cut ties with a narcissist, they might try to pull you back in. This is called “hoovering.” It’s a way for them to get back in control and feed their need for attention¹⁷.

Narcissists are good at making you feel like you can’t leave them. They use mixed signals to keep you hooked¹⁷. They might shower you with love, flatter you, or make you feel guilty to get your attention¹⁸.

Covert narcissists might start small to see if you’re interested. They think any response means you’re ready to give them what they want¹⁷. They believe they can control you through their tricks¹⁷.

It’s important to remember that talking to a narcissist again can make them think you’re okay with their abuse. This can make them think they can start over¹⁷. You should only talk to them if it makes you feel better, not to please them¹⁷.

It’s key to keep your distance and stick to your decision to cut ties. This stops the narcissist from getting back in control and keeps you safe¹⁸. By not engaging, you protect yourself and move away from their harmful influence¹⁸.

Getting out of a narcissistic relationship and staying away can be tough. But it’s a crucial step towards healing and taking back your life. Knowing their tricks and staying firm in your choice helps you break free and start anew¹⁸.

Moving On to New Sources of Supply

When narcissists can’t control you anymore, they look for new people to admire and validate them¹⁹. These new people become important to them, helping to boost their self-worth¹⁹.

Finding New Targets for Admiration and Validation

Narcissists always want more admiration and attention¹⁹. They might find a new partner or turn to friends, family, and even strangers for this¹⁹. Their goal is to keep getting attention to feel good about themselves¹⁹.

Type of Narcissistic Supply	Description
Primary Narcissistic Supply (PNS)	Intimate partners and relationships that hold the most emotional charge for the narcissist19.
Secondary Narcissistic Supply (SNS)	Constant individuals like family, friends, and colleagues who serve as backup supply when primary sources are unavailable19.
Narcissistic Tertiary Supply (NTS)	Lower-level individuals, often strangers, used for quick boosts of attention and adoration by the narcissist19.

Narcissists often focus on their primary sources at first¹⁹. They use secondary sources when needed and tertiary sources for quick fixes¹⁹. Their constant search for admiration drives them to find new sources¹⁹.

“Attention, whether positive or negative, is crucial for the narcissist to regulate their self-worth.”¹⁹

As they find new sources, narcissists often ignore or discard the old ones¹⁹. This makes the old source feel unimportant and left behind. This is a common way narcissists abuse others¹⁹.

Navigating the Aftermath of No Contact

Stepping away from a narcissistic relationship is a big change. It can feel overwhelming. But, we can move forward by being kind to ourselves and seeking help²⁰.

Leaving a narcissist can make us feel many emotions. We might feel denial, anxiety, obsession, loneliness, and grief²¹. Yet, by facing the truth and the abuse we’ve suffered, we can get through it and grow stronger²¹.

Rebuilding Self-Esteem and Resilience

One big challenge is rebuilding our self-esteem. The narcissist’s actions made us doubt ourselves and our skills²⁰. Working with a coach or therapist can help us set better boundaries and find our self-worth again²⁰.

It’s also important to build resilience. The journey ahead will be tough, but we can get through it. By learning coping strategies, taking care of ourselves, and having a supportive network, we can face challenges with more confidence²⁰.

The aftermath of no contact is a journey, not a finish line. With time, kindness to ourselves, and professional help, we can come out stronger. We’ll have healthier relationships and a better understanding of our own strength²⁰²¹.

Conclusion

Going no contact with a narcissist is tough. They use many tricks to control us and make us feel bad. They might shower us with love, then guilt trip us, spread lies, or get very aggressive. These actions aim to break our will and pull us back into their toxic world²².

But, we can fight back by being careful and setting strong boundaries. This helps us keep our emotional health safe and take back our lives²³. Healing and boosting our self-esteem is hard, but with friends who support us and our own growth, we can get through it. We’ll come out stronger and more resilient²³.

As we keep moving forward, let’s hold onto what we’ve learned. Trust our gut, put our needs first, and know that people can change. This way, our future relationships will be based on respect, empathy, and honesty. We’ll avoid the toxic influence of narcissism²⁴.

FAQ

What does it mean to go “no contact” with someone?

Going “no contact” means cutting off all communication with someone. This includes no in-person meetups, calls, messages, emails, or social media. It also means avoiding stalking.

Why is going no contact with a narcissist challenging?

It’s hard to go no contact with a narcissist because they think they’re superior. They’ll use threats, lies, and pleas to get you back.

What are some common reactions and tactics narcissists use when you go no contact?

Narcissists might use emotional abuse to control you again. They’ll play the victim, spread lies, and try to make you feel guilty. They might also get angry, try to win you back, or find new people to control.

How might a narcissist try to intensify their attempts to regain control?

A narcissist might become more intense when you try to leave. They might send lots of messages, call you a lot, or try to get your friends and family involved. They might also use social media to get your attention.

How might a narcissist play the victim to gain sympathy?

A narcissist might pretend to be a victim to get your sympathy. They’ll say they’re hurt and blame you to make you feel sorry for them. This is to make you feel obligated to them.

How might a narcissist spread misinformation and lies?

Narcissists might lie to control you. They’ll distort facts, spread rumors, or involve others in your relationship. This is to make you doubt yourself and feel uncertain.

How might a narcissist use manipulative guilt-tripping?

A narcissist might make themselves seem very hurt after a breakup. They’ll blame you for everything to make you feel guilty. This is to make you feel responsible for their pain.

How might a narcissist display anger and aggression?

If you stick to no contact, a narcissist might get angry. They might send threatening messages, call you, or attack you verbally. They might also spread rumors or publicly shame you to punish you.

What is “hoovering,” and how might a narcissist use it?

Hoovering is when a narcissist tries to pull you back into a toxic relationship. They might use guilt, flattery, or threats to get you back. They might also create fake emergencies to get your attention.

How might a narcissist move on to new sources of supply?

If they can’t control you anymore, a narcissist will find someone else. They’ll look for someone who will admire and validate them to boost their self-esteem.

How can you navigate the aftermath of going no contact with a narcissist?

It takes time to heal after going no contact with a narcissist. Working with a coach can help you set boundaries and heal. You’ll learn to treat yourself better and increase your resilience.

Source Links

1. 7 Things Narcissists Do When You Go No Contact – https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/7-things-narcissists-do-when-you-go-contact-kamini-wood-hbfoe
2. Setting Boundaries With Narcissist: No Contact Rule – https://medium.com/psychology-self-healing/setting-boundaries-with-narcissist-no-contact-rule-b1b87e3a904c
3. 7 Tactics to Tackle During No Contact With a Narcissist – https://www.marriage.com/advice/mental-health/things-narcissists-do-when-you-go-no-contact/
4. How the Narcissist Feels When You Go No Contact | Blog – https://www.flourishinghope.com/how-the-narcissist-feels-when-you-go-no-contact/
5. Do Narcissists Come Back After No Contact? – https://www.marriage.com/advice/mental-health/do-narcissists-come-back-after-no-contact/
6. 6 Things Narcissists Do When You Go No Contact – https://rebeccazung.medium.com/6-things-narcissists-do-when-you-go-no-contact-a70847cbe57f
7. 7 Things Narcissists Do When You Go No Contact (Explained) – https://narcissisthome.com/7-things-narcissists-do-when-you-go-no-contact/
8. What Happens When You Ignore a Narcissist? – https://www.marriage.com/advice/mental-health/what-happens-when-you-ignore-a-narcissist/
9. He’s Calling ME Crazy But He’s An Abuser! – https://www.btr.org/im-a-victim-of-narcissistic-abuse-but-hes-calling-me-crazy/
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11. How Does a Narcissist Handle Rejection and No Contact – https://upjourney.com/how-does-a-narcissist-handle-rejection-and-no-contact
12. What Narcissists and Borderlines Have in Common and in Opposition – https://medium.com/@SPClusterB/what-narcissists-and-borderlines-have-in-common-and-in-opposition-7653223610d3
13. 7 cunning ways narcissists use guilt to put one over you, according to psychology – https://geediting.com/cunning-ways-narcissists-use-guilt-to-put-one-over-you-according-to-psychology/
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16. How to Hurt A Narcissist & Get Revenge – https://www.simplypsychology.org/how-to-hurt-a-narcissist.html
17. What narcissists are thinking when you stay in contact after the discard – https://sylvialongmire.medium.com/what-narcissists-are-thinking-when-you-stay-in-contact-after-the-discard-4fda3b6666fb
18. 10 Things Narcissists Do When You Go No Contact – https://grace-being.com/love-relationships/things-narcissists-do-when-you-go-no-contact/
19. WARNING You Do Not Want to Become a Narcissist’s Source of Supply…. Believe Me! – Narcissistic Behavior – https://narcissisticbehavior.net/narcissists-source-of-supply/
20. What to expect after leaving your narcissist and going “no contact” – https://psychcentral.com/pro/recovery-expert/2018/01/what-to-expect-after-leaving-your-narcissist-and-going-no-contact
21. The Emotional Hell of Going No Contact with a Narcissist – Fairy Tale Shadows – https://fairytaleshadows.com/emotional-hell-going-no-contact-with-a-narcissist/
22. Do Narcissists Return After Several months of the Silent Treatment? – https://toxicrelationships.medium.com/do-narcissists-return-after-several-months-of-the-silent-treatment-7fad6fe5bbd1
23. Should you go “No Contact” with the narcissist in your life? – https://youronlinecounselor.com/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=68
24. 7 Things Narcissists Say to Excuse Their Behavior and Keep You Under Control – https://ringgoldpediatric.com/__-9ghqx6sfug/