Researchers have found a shocking fact:1 62% of covert narcissists cheat. This blows the myth that narcissists only care about themselves. It shows the hidden side of narcissistic personality disorder, revealing the dark side of confident people. Let’s find out what percentage of covert narcissists cheat?
A team from the University of Haifa studied 135 couples1. They were all married for at least three years and had kids. The average age was 30, and they had been married for seven years. This gave us a peek into how narcissism affects long-term relationships.
Key Takeaways
- Covert narcissists are more likely to engage in infidelity compared to the general population.
- Women high in grandiose narcissism and vulnerable narcissism are particularly inclined towards considering infidelity.
- Men high in vulnerable narcissism are more likely to have favorable attitudes towards infidelity.
- Grandiose narcissists can influence their partners, making them less likely to contemplate infidelity.
- Narcissistic traits, such as lack of empathy and need for validation, contribute to the higher rates of infidelity among covert narcissists.
Understanding Covert vs. Grandiose Narcissism
Narcissism comes in different forms, and knowing the difference between covert and grandiose narcissism is key. Covert narcissists, making up 60-75% of narcissists2, have fragile self-esteem and are very sensitive to criticism. They need constant validation and reassurance. Grandiose narcissists, on the other hand, are more open and boastful about their achievements and talents3.
Key Characteristics of Covert Narcissists
Covert narcissists hide their true selves behind emotional sensitivity. They may seem shy and introverted but are actually passive-aggressive4. They manipulate those close to them, like friends, family, and partners2. They are very sensitive to criticism and can be possessive and passive-aggressive2.
Distinguishing Features of Grandiose Narcissists
Grandiose narcissists are more outgoing and openly talk about their achievements3. They have a big sense of self-importance and dream of success and grandeur3. Unlike covert narcissists, they show arrogance and a sense of entitlement4.
Impact on Relationships
Covert and grandiose narcissism affect relationships differently. Covert narcissists may emotionally abuse and manipulate2. Grandiose narcissists can be more openly abusive and ignore others’ needs4. Both types lack empathy and put their own needs first.
It’s important to understand the differences between covert and grandiose narcissism to protect ourselves in relationships. Knowing these differences helps us avoid emotional abuse and manipulation from narcissists234.
The Psychology Behind Narcissistic Infidelity
Narcissists might cheat because they feel entitled, lack empathy, and seek validation. They are also impulsive, emotionally detached, and love thrills5. But this is more common in covert narcissists than the grandiose type. A study by Gewirtz-Meydan et al. found that both a person’s and their partner’s narcissism can influence their views on cheating.
Deception and a lack of empathy drive narcissistic cheating. The DSM-V says to diagnose Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), one must show entitlement, self-centeredness, and poor empathy6.
- Narcissists see themselves as the center of attention, deserving admiration6.
- Empathy is key to differentiating narcissists from the selfish. Empathy is about understanding others, while sympathy is feeling pity6.
- Narcissists may show sympathy to keep up an image or gain something6.
Narcissists cheat to get validation and attention, ignoring their partner’s feelings5. Covert narcissists hide their affairs, keeping them secret from their partners5.
“Narcissists engage in numerous extramarital affairs without practicing monogamy, having relationships with both men and women simultaneously.”5
Being with a narcissistic partner can cause a lot of emotional pain. It can also harm partners and children, as seen in cases of sex addiction5.
Narcissism is common and affects families and relationships deeply. It’s a complex issue compared to sociopathy and psychopathy5.
What Percentage of Covert Narcissists Cheat
Covert narcissists have a big need for attention and validation. This often leads them to cheat at high rates7. They don’t care about their partner’s feelings and see cheating as okay7. They also tend to have emotional affairs, draining energy from their main relationships7.
Research Statistics and Findings
Research shows that covert narcissists, especially women, are good at making others cheat8. Their sneaky nature makes it hard to spot their cheating8.
Gender Differences in Cheating Patterns
Both men and women with covert narcissism cheat, but there are differences. Women with this trait often see cheating as okay, like men do8. Men with grandiose narcissism don’t seem to have the same cheating attitudes7.
Comparison with General Population
Narcissism can lead to more cheating in covert narcissists9. But, not all with NPD cheat. Narcissism can still push people to cheat9.
Covert narcissists use tricks like lying and gaslighting to hide their cheating7. They also deny and hide their affairs from their partners7.
“Recognizing infidelity in relationships with covert narcissists can be challenging due to their manipulative nature and tendency to hide their true selves.”
Being with a covert narcissist can be very hard. It can cause anxiety, depression, and PTSD8. People may also start to distrust everyone8.
It’s important to understand how covert narcissism and cheating are linked. Being aware and seeking help can help you heal and move on8.
Vulnerable Narcissism and Relationship Dynamics
People with vulnerable narcissism often show more aggression and psychopathology than those with grandiose narcissism10. In private, they might say sorry and take the blame to keep control over those who admire them11. But when they lose control, they use tricks like blame, projection, and smear campaigns11.
Covert narcissists have a pattern of unstable romantic relationships. They target people who can give them admiration10. They act like victims while emotionally abusing others, making it hard to leave11.
- Trauma bonding can happen in relationships with narcissists, making the person emotionally dependent11.
- Narcissists use gaslighting, accusations, and emotional abuse when they want to leave11.
- Leaving a narcissist can be hard because they manipulate and make false accusations11.
Being in a relationship with a narcissist can cause deep trauma. It makes the person feel worthless, confused, and unstable11. Knowing the signs and understanding their motives can help in healing and finding self-worth again11.
“Covert narcissists are shy, aggressive, dependent, and act like victims. They feel inferior and inadequate more than grandiose narcissists.”10
Relationships with vulnerable narcissists are complex. They involve emotional abuse, manipulation, and a constant fight for control and validation1110.
Gender-Specific Patterns in Narcissistic Infidelity
Studies show big differences in how men and women with narcissistic traits cheat. Women with grandiose narcissism are more likely to cheat, but men with the same trait are not12. Both men and women with vulnerable narcissism, however, tend to think cheating is okay12.
Male Covert Narcissists’ Behavior
Men with covert narcissism might not openly cheat, but they use sneaky ways to get what they want13. They often go for short-term relationships and seek many partners to feel admired13. Also, society might let men cheat more than women, which adds to the problem in narcissistic men13.
Female Covert Narcissists’ Tendencies
Female covert narcissists have their own way of cheating. They might use emotional or physical cheating to get attention and validation12. They often have trouble with emotions, react too much, and want to control everything, leading to bad behavior in relationships12.
They also tend to bully, be petty, and want to be in charge, especially at home12. Their lives can be unstable, making it hard to keep jobs or lasting relationships12.
“Women with antagonistic features of grandiose narcissism can engage in coercion for sex.”13
This shows why it’s key to understand the unique traits and actions of both male and female covert narcissists. This knowledge helps tackle the issue better.
Warning Signs of Potential Infidelity in Covert Narcissists
It’s key to spot the signs of cheating in covert narcissists. They often hide their true actions. Covert narcissists seem nice at first but then act deceitfully9.
They might act like they really care about you by mirroring your interests. They also dig up personal info and give lots of praise and gifts9. They crave admiration and can switch from idealizing to devaluing you, playing the victim9.
Covert narcissists can also be very moody. Their emotions can shift quickly, making it hard to see their cheating9. They might even try to make you feel bad for their actions9.
- They might spend more time away or be secretive about their devices9
- They could ask for all your passwords and get upset if you don’t give them9
- They won’t feel bad about cheating and will find ways to justify it9
Knowing these signs can help you spot potential cheating in your relationship9. Remember, not all narcissists cheat, but the signs can hint at it9.
“Narcissistic cheating patterns are characterized by a lack of remorse or guilt, ongoing deception and betrayal, objectification of partners, self-serving justification, and manipulation tactics.”
Impact of Narcissistic Traits on Partner Selection
People with narcissistic traits often choose partners who admire them or help them control others6. These relationships are often unstable and can be very hard on both partners.
Being in a relationship with a narcissist can lead to anxiety, panic, and feeling always on edge14. It can also cause trauma, make you feel disconnected, and even make you think about harming yourself14. These relationships can also make you angry, make everyday tasks hard, and even make you feel older than you are.
Partner Psychology
Narcissists and sociopaths often pick partners who admire them or help them control others15. These partners might have had unstable relationships before. They might think these unstable relationships are normal or even good.
Relationship Patterns
Covert narcissist husbands might do what they promise most of the time, but sometimes they don’t14. Their wives might stop being intimate because they feel used14. These husbands might also ignore their wives’ needs and stay silent for a long time when they feel upset14.
“Narcissistic admiration and rivalry are linked to different strategies used to influence romantic partners. Both forms of narcissism are associated with manipulation, but narcissistic rivalry also relates to more negative tactics, such as bullying and disengagement, while being negatively associated with bargaining.”15
It’s important to understand how narcissistic traits affect who we choose to be with and how we act in relationships6. By knowing these patterns, we can avoid toxic relationships and focus on our own happiness.
The Role of Validation and External Attention
Covert narcissists crave validation and attention more than grandiose ones16. They often cheat to get admiration and approval from others17. Unlike grandiose narcissists, who seem confident, covert ones are insecure and always need reassurance16.
They cheat to feel better about themselves and get external praise17. They struggle to feel real regret because they lack empathy18. Instead, they focus on saving their own image and blame their partners18.
For covert narcissists, the thrill of cheating is more exciting than feeling guilty later18. Their need for validation and impulsiveness lead to a cycle of cheating without true remorse16.
“Narcissists often struggle with experiencing regret due to their self-focused nature, prioritizing their own feelings, interests, and reputation over the impact of their actions on their partners.”18
The emotional abuse in covert narcissistic relationships makes it hard for them to feel true regret for cheating18. Their search for validation and new partners can lead to more emotional abuse and neglect in their main relationships16.
Research-Based Prevention Strategies
It’s key to know the different types of narcissism and how they affect relationships. This knowledge helps in avoiding toxic and manipulative situations19. Spotting signs like gaslighting, love bombing, and triangulation can guide partners in making smart choices about their relationship19.
Building strong communication and setting clear boundaries can prevent abuse and cheating19. Getting professional help early on can offer valuable advice. It helps in tackling the issues and understanding the underlying problems19.
Studies reveal that people with high Machiavellianism and narcissism tend to use force and manipulation in their relationships20. They often use both kind and coercive methods, a common trait among them20.
Also, avoidant personality disorder can lead to relationship problems21. People with this disorder fear rejection and humiliation. They struggle with empathy and intimacy, making relationships harder21.
By grasping these insights, people and couples can avoid the harm caused by toxic and manipulative relationships192021.
Treatment and Therapeutic Approaches
Dealing with narcissistic personality disorder and emotional abuse needs a mix of strategies. Individual therapy is key in helping narcissists understand others, handle their fears, and grow personally22. Therapists help them see themselves clearly, manage their feelings, and face their true selves22.
Couples counseling also helps in fixing relationship problems caused by narcissistic traits22. But, how well therapy works depends a lot on the person’s desire to change22. Research shows that those with less severe antisocial traits tend to do better in therapy22.
Individual Therapy Options
Therapy for narcissistic personality disorder aims to boost empathy and personal growth. Therapists use various methods, like cognitive-behavioral therapy, to change harmful thought patterns22.
Couples Counseling Effectiveness
Couples therapy can help with relationship and communication problems linked to narcissistic disorder22. But, success depends on the severity of narcissistic traits and the person’s willingness to change22. Therapists work on improving communication and building empathy22.
Every person’s treatment for narcissistic personality disorder and emotional abuse is different22. A mix of individual therapy and couples counseling, along with a commitment to personal growth, can lead to healing and better relationships22.
“The silent treatment is typically employed by people with narcissistic tendencies. It is a form of emotional abuse aimed at controlling, silencing, avoiding conflict resolution, and punishing the target.”23
Conclusion
Our exploration of narcissistic personality disorder and its link to infidelity has ended. We now understand this complex issue better. Research by Gewirtz-Meydan et al. has shown us the different sides of narcissism. They found that covert and grandiose narcissists act in unique ways when it comes to cheating24.
We’ve learned that vulnerable narcissism and the need for social status play big roles. This helps us see why some people might cheat. The study also highlighted how gender affects narcissistic cheating, pushing us to think more deeply about this issue24.
Now, we know we need a detailed plan to tackle narcissistic infidelity. We must consider the special traits of each narcissistic type. We also need to look at how personal traits, relationships, and society impact this problem. By studying this further and creating specific prevention and treatment plans, we can help build stronger, happier relationships. This will also lessen the harm caused by narcissistic infidelity on people and communities25.
